Well

Sunday, January 20, 2008

well Curt has been gone since January 2nd. It's really hard on me. I think that I am having a hard time dealing with the seperation. Which makes sense to me if you think about it. Last time he left me for long he got seriously hurt. I mean he's only 500 miles away but still I am anxious and lonely and depressed. It's kinda funny. Almost like an emotional dependency. I mean we went thru and delt with soooo much stress in 2007. I think its only natural for me to feel this way. I just worry about him traveling alone like that since he has a hard time being in a moving vehicle anyway-especially when you hit a bump on the road. I don't know-I just miss him terribly.... Anyway, for those of you who don't know we finally got approved for TSGLI, it was a lot more than we thought we were going to get. And it let us pay off every single bill we had and still have much much more to do whatever with. It was such a blessing and came right at the perfect time. I cried and cried over it and was so thankful the army finally gave us what we deserve. Now as I start to pack up our house and get ready to move into town here-we can start a new chapter in our life. We are far from done dealing with his injuries, but we can start fresh with no debt and nothing to hold us back from doing what we need to do. We'll be heading back to Walter Reed this spring for another surgery. (Not looking forward to going back there at all) Hopefully he will be able to stay in the army and make a full recovery. This summer we will be going on our first REAL vacation. Its not booked yet, since we don't know what is going to be going on. But for now the plan is to go to either Disney World with Kaylie or take her to my sisters so me and Curt can go to Hawaii and have a nice relaxing week on the beach away from everything and everyone. THAT would be nice. Something we both deserve!! Life just works in mysterious ways. Its so beyond our mere human minds to even realize and know that each decision we make affects the rest of our lives. 2007 was the worst year we have ever had. It could have been worse yes, but it was still almost a breaking point for us. All the emotions and ups and downs last year, no one can know except those who have been thru it. I'm glad Curt has decided to talk to someone about PTSD, I know he has it. How can he not? Since last year was such a life changing experience, I have worked on myself becoming a better person. Of course it isn't easy to change myself. But I am working on it. I'm trying not to let the little things bother me. Something happened last year that I will never ever forget. Something that touched me deep in my soul.....and changed my life. Anyway I'm rambling. I just want to wish everyone a wonderful year. And remember things always work out in the end, always. And God does NOT give us more than He thinks we can handle. That cross we all carry is never too heavy to hold. :)