Reflections and Thoughts

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Reflections and Thoughts Wow! I really have not blogged since October???? What is up with me?? haha I wanted to give some updates and thoughts and also reflect on this crazy year of 2009. So 2009 still had us living in Columbus. We had the paperwork to do IVF at Walter Reed and I had a thought of how much easier it would be to just be up there. As often as we were up there anyway for Curt's surgeries and medical appointments it seemed like the logical idea. So Curt asked at work if we could do a WTU to WTU transfer and he would give up his Cadre position to move up here. So while that was in the works, I decided that you know what, IVF cost so much money, especially when its not guaranteed to work, that we were not willing to take that risk and not have it work. I accepted the fact that we would just have Kaylie. As sad as that made me, it was what was best. Come Februrary we had our transfer orders up here to Fort Belvoir. Big plus! Even though Curt had to get the orders amended since they gave us literally 5 days to move. Um yeah, no. haha! While Curt was working on getting that fixed I found out by the grace of God we were expecting! I was in complete shock. I couldn't believe after six years we finally had a positive! It was almost unreal. I was ecstactic and immediately called my mom and stepdad and my sister. I couldn't believe it I ran out and bought three more tests. So Curt left the end of Februrary up here while I stayed behind to wait for our house to be ready. In mid March me and Kaylie made the journey up here. It was a sad day to leave our home of six and a half years. I was extremely sad to leave my friends. But I was excited to start our new adventure and get my husband better. So we get settled in our new home with Curt still recovering from his surgery he had the first week of March to remove all the metal in his leg to prep for the total knee replacement surgery. June, Curt had his TKR at the National Naval Medical Center in Bethesda. The surgery went well and I absolutely love his surgeon. He's a great guy who worked miracles for Curt. Surgery lasted much longer than expected due to the extensive damage in Curt's knee he had a special TKR done. But Dr. Eirle was pleased with how it went. We had a few setbacks the first couple days after in recovery. It was not pleasant and things almost got out of control. I blogged about all that earlier this year so I won't get into that fiasco. Recovery was going so good and we were very optimistic and looking ahead....When right after July 4th his TKR got infected. It was a nightmare and very scary. I had to call 911 to come to our house since Curt was withering on the floor and bawling like a baby. I thought for sure with all the stress I was gonna go into preterm labor. He was admitted back into the hospital and they were running all kinds of tests on him. I had never seen my husband in that much pain. Then the grim news came that depending on what type of infection was found there was a huge possibility our only option would be to amputate. Thankfully it turned out to be a strep B infection and not staph. Whew...but we still were not out of the clear. They replaced a piece of his TKR, did wash outs and he was on antibiotics until further notice. I had to administer his IV antibiotics myself which was actually quite fun to play nurse for six weeks haha. Since then, Kaylie has started 1st Grade. Our miracle baby boy was born October 4th. Which still today I am in shock we actually have a baby! It's still unbelievable to me and a true blessing. I love my kids! I plan on giving them nothing but the best in life! Things have progressively gotten better since the summer for all of us. Curt is still in physical therapy. We just got the call from Walter Reed and the infectious disease clinic last week that he can stop antibiotics because everything looks good. yay!!!! He will have a couple more months of therapy and we have just learned he will go thru the Med Board in March. We're hoping he can reclass and stay in. He's been working on some things pertaining to that. Hopefully he can get the job he wants. We shall see. I started school in November which is going great. I feel like I am where I should be. I have dreamt of going back to school for ten years and now I finally am doing it. Age is no factor for me. I am pursuing my ultimate dream. I love college, love learning, love expanding my mind. I have always felt I have never lived up to my full potential. I am a very smart person, graduating with honors from high school. I should've done this years ago and kick myself all the time for waiting, BUT I am showing not only myself, but my kids that motivation never leaves and no matter time nor circumstance, you can achieve what you want, when you want. :) Right now I am pursuing my BA in Psychology. I am taking pre-med courses though. I have decided to pursue my ultimate dream job. Psychiatrist. I know I can do it. I'm smart enough. But I am torn within myself to just do School Psychologist. The reason is because of my family. I know that pursuing psychiatry will be very time consuming. If I am willing to sacrifice time with my family I know the benefits and financial aspects will be soooo worth it. But..am I willing to miss out on so much of my kids lives? I will be very consumed with school and time is not of the essence in this field. It will be long hours. I have talked to some people in my close circle about this. I have also reached out and contacted a psychiatrist to get there perspective on the job. Which has given me great insight and some things to think about. I am leaning that way. And have decided to take the premed courses to prepare myself for when or if I do decide to go that route. It's just coming to a conclusion if I could be away from my kids. That, really, is my only drawback and what holds me back. I think School Psychologist is a great second choice. Another of my passions. The work schedule for that would be far less demanding. So I don't know. We'll see. Life is full of surprises so I'll just roll with it and take it as it comes! So far I'm doing good in both my classes. I have a 98% in one class and a 92% in the other. Go me! I have so many opportunites open for me, I am keeping an open mind and just letting my heart guide me in the direction I want to go. So far it's been working. I'll keep you posted :)