Scary day

Yesterday between 2:30 and 3:00 sometime, I don't remember the exact time it happened was one of the scariest things that have happened. Curt had just gone upstairs and gotten Brandon out of his crib from his nap. He brought him downstairs and changed his diaper. He walked into the kitchen to get Brandon's cup and throw away the diaper. I was sitting on the couch at this point and he walks away to go to the bathroom. I hear a crash in the bathroom. My initial thought was that he had sat on the litter box and not the toilet since they are right next to each other. I also thought I heard him laugh. So I yell to him asking what happened, expecting him to come around the corner laughing that he sat on the litter box. Well..he never came around the corner.

At this point I get up to see what is going on. I can hear him making a noise but I'm not sure if he is crying because he hurt his leg or what. As soon as I round the corner to the bathroom I see him laying on the floor in the doorway. His lower body is in the hallway and his upper body is on the floor. He is laying face down and I notice right away that he is convulsing. His whole body is shaking from head to toe and I start screaming his name.I get down to check him and I see his eyes are glazed and I knew then, he was having a seizure. I was screaming so loud that Kaylie came in from outside to see what is going on. I tell her not to come through the baby gate so she doesn't see him. He is still convulsing and he is grunting. He has his eyes open, he's face down, and I immediately grab the phone and call 911.

I'm shaking so bad and I am not calm at all. I knew when I was dialing that I would have to ask to be transferred to Fort Belvoir. When you dial 911 here it routes itself to Fairfax County and not on post. So as soon as the lady answers the phone I'm rattling off that I need to be transferred to Belvoir and I need an ambulance. She transfers me and I'm still shaking and talking way to fast. I try to calm down, but seeing my husband withering on the floor was beyond scary. He has me check his pulse and I say he has one. I can feel it. He seized about a minute in a half to two minutes. I get down to see if he is breathing and he is. He also has saliva running out of his mouth and some blood. His eyes are half open, half closed and I keep checking his pulse and breathing until the paramedics arrive.

They arrive and as soon as they come in and hover over him he wakes up. He is completely out of it and groggy. They help him up and move him to the chair. They check his blood sugar, give him oxygen, while I'm going over his medications and explaining what happened to the lead firefighter. They eventually get him on the stretcher and take him up to DeWitt hospital here on post. He had a cat scan done and they did blood work. Curt remembers none of this. He said the last thing he remembers is heading into the bathroom and then he blacked out.

So he follows up with neurology this week. He has to call tomorrow to get the appointment. What we think happened was he was prescribed new medicine by the pain clinic on Wednesday. One of the new medicines was Tramadol. And one of the severe side affects is seizures(convulsions). They took him off of tramadol and gave him a prescription for percocet again. So we think the tramadol is the culprit. We will hopefully find out when we see neurology and mention that to them.

That was are scary day yesterday. It was the most terrifying thing to witness your loved one having a seizure and non responsive. I seriously thought he was dying. One of the fears I have had since he was injured. One that scares me still. That I will find him dead one morning, I like I found him yesterday, nonresponsive and losing him. Fears that fill me with dread some days.... I cried and cried and cried all day yesterday. Of course once the ambulance left and I called my mom and sister..no one answered. No one. The one time I NEED to talk to someone..no one answers. Just made it so much worse for me. One of the few times I felt so alone as I had then. I had no one. No one. No.One.

I shut down last night. I was exhausted. Not physically, but mentally. My body was shutting itself down to protect itself. I knew that and felt it so I went to bed at 9:30 last night.

I can't be strong all the time. I can't. We have been through so much. I don't know when it will be too much. When I will shut down completely. I consider myself a very strong woman. But there comes a point when I can't be strong. I need to let myself break and have that moment to just let it all out. Cry and cry and cry. I hate it, but it needs to happen. I feel like I'm running on nothing now. I need a break. I need a break before I break.

The waiting game

So we are now officially waiting on the PEB results. Hopefully it will only take 15 working days. I've heard they are running a little behind, so it could be as long as 4 or 5, even 6 weeks compared to the three weeks we were told by his PEBLO. We shall see.It's a waiting game from this point with no way of knowing anything until the results land in the PEBLO's office. I am tightly crossing my fingers for a quick decision. The sooner we can get out of here the happier I will be. I will be even more happy if we get to go back to Benning. :)

We have been talking about it non-stop. Hopefully we will have the decision early November. We have plans to spend Thanksgiving with friends down in Georgia anyway, so if it all works out as we hope it to, we will go down to Columbus for the whole week of Thanksgiving so we can meet with the realtor and builder while spending Thanksgiving with our friend in her house that she just bought and moved into a few weeks ago (which I can't wait to see!!).

I'm getting really excited at the very real prospect of becoming a homeowner soon. It's exciting to think about. I can't wait to decorate it and paint, and make it our home! It's a huge responsiblity to own a home, one we are both ready for. I can't wait to make our lives in Columbus.

Curt got his segway through the Segway for Vets program a few weeks ago. He is having a ball riding that thing around the neighborhood. He has ridden it up to work twice as well! hahaha
Everyone slows down to stare at us and everyone asks him about it all the time. I rode it twice. It's fun but scary because it goes 12mph which is pretty fast. At least it feels fast anyway. That's his new toy for the time being.

Curt started a few physical therapy sessions again for his back that has really been bothering him. There is a huge waitlist for acupuncture--like a year wait, which he wants to try, so we seriously doubt he'll get in before we leave since we will be out of here fairly soon. He also saw sports medicine this past week and got a shot in his knee which I was pissed about when he came home and told me he let them do that. His ortho surgeon specifically said NO shots in the knee, absolutely not!!! He has a huge risk of infection, so I was shocked when he said that he okayed a shot. If I had been there I would have never let that happen. Stupid, stupid, stupid!!


That's our update for now. Keep your fingers tightly crossed for a quick PEB decision for us!!!! :)

Answers Are On the Horizon!!

Curt's peblo called him this morning to come in at one this afternoon. He went in and signed his NARSUM and his med packet is getting sent to Walter Reed for the PEB's decision. It should take 15 working days, so we're looking at three weeks for a fit or unfit decision. Finally, three years later, in just a mere 15 working days we will know our fate. It's nerve wracking and very stressful. We're both nervous. In less than 90 days we will be out of here!!!!

Somethings Gotta Give!

Something has definitely gotta give. I have stretched myself too thin. It's by my own doing of course. I have four classes going on right now. Wayyyyy too much work. Especially on top of taking care of the house, kids, husband and other obligations. Girl Scouts is a big one. I'm thinking its gonna have to give. I can't do it all. Especially with our big move in the very near future. Once we combined troops we meet every single week now. My coleader is not very good at helping out. She adds more stress to me, which I need to address with her. This past week she contacted me the night BEFORE the meeting to see if I could run it and plan it. She's "busy". Yeah okay. Thankfully I had planned meetings way in advance so I just pulled out my notes and got some activities prepared. Kinda made me mad. Plus, she is ALWAYS late! To everything. Every meeting, last night for the campfire, just every thing we have planned. She was an hour late last night to the campfire.
Girl Scouts is the most unorganized place I have ever seen. Anyway, just my little rant about that.

So something has to give, and its gonna be that. School comes first. I'm starting to fall behind, because I do have four classes. And I just can't keep up between every thing else in my life. Brandon only naps once a day now. For an hour and a half to two hours. Other than that two hours max the only other time I have to myself is at night once the kids go to bed. I have been soooo exhausted trying to keep up. My house is suffering. I just don't have the energy or time to clean or even cook dinner. I want to go to bed every night early and I can't because its the only time I have to do homework. It sucks! I have resorted to doing my reading assignments while B plays sometimes when I can..even if it is just a paragraph or two at a time.

So yeah, I'm stressed, big time. I am even contemplating finding a sitter for B while I work on homework. I mean I only have four classes for four weeks, since it is just that they are overlapping each other. My sociology class ends in three more weeks now, then I'll be back down to three. I'll never do that again. That's for sure!!

So Curt's NARSUM is complete. His doctor who typed it up only had to fix about three or four things in it..a couple dates were wrong and then she stated he can run at his own pace, when he should not run at all. So we got those things fixed. It has to be correct and match up with his medical records otherwise it will get kicked back, so we read it over and over again to make sure it looked good. It's going around for signatures now, then he'll meet with his Peblo next week to finish getting the packet ready then its sent off to Walter Reed for the decision! Apprently it only takes about 15 days once they receive his med packet for a decision, but if they are backlogged it could take longer. His PCM said the process will move fast from here. So we'll see! A decision is in the very future though!!! :)

I have more to say, but like I said, i'm stressed for time, so this is it for now! Peace, love, and joy to all