The house that is! I feel like I am always cooped up. Why? What is it? Well, its actually a combination of things. One, I don't like to drag the kids out and about all the time. It's exhausting. Wears me out and makes me so anxious! If I could go out alone all the time it would be a much better experience for me. Two, I don't like crowds and I feel like everything here is so crowded all the time. I don't like it. Three, I really don't like people! I feel the older I am getting the more grumpy and irritable I'm getting out in public. People piss me off. They stop in the middle of the mall while you are walking right behind them, they keep their cart in the middle of the aisle so no one can go around them, they don't know how to drive, they just suck! Fourth, (wow, I have a lot of excuses don't I?? haha) I'm just too lazy to get dressed and do my hair all the time. I hate it! I prefer to be in sweats and a tshirt or tank top. The minute I walk back in the door I immediately change my clothes into my sweats. It's just who I am. Looking nice all the time isn't my cup of tea! I prefer comfort.
Anyway!
I am working on over coming this and have made it a point to every day this week get out of the house and do something. I need to stop being lazy! I think Brandon gets cabin fever too and its nice to get out and explore more. I have a list of things I want to do and places I want to see. We only have two more years left here and its going to go by very quickly like the first year did! I want to take advantage of our time here! I don't want to leave Hawaii with regrets.
Saturday, December 29, 2012
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
What is the World Coming To?
Well, everyone seems to be talking about the Sandy Hook Elementary school tragedy. It was truly heartbreaking. It hit close to home for me having a school aged child and also having a nephew who is in first grade and turned 7 in October and having so many of my family members who are teachers, plus many of my friends have kids that same age. It was horrific. As a parent our worst fears is that something will happen to our children, but to have something like what happened last Friday happen is unimaginable. It's gut-wrenching. The next day I sort of went into a depression state. Saturday I could barely get out of bed, I napped off and on all day and just had crying spells. It has gotten better though, and my heart breaks for all of those families who will have a bleak Christmas this year. I say a prayer every night for those poor children and adults whose lives were sensesessly taken. Seeing everyone come together afterwards though makes me realize the good in the world really does outweigh the bad. I have to remember that!
With this comes all this talk about gun control. I really don't have that big of an opinion on it, but I do think that assault rifles should be banned from being sold to the general public. They should only be available to those in the military, police force, and secret service...people of that nature. We can't control guns. It's our right to bear arms and I truly feel that that is important as a citizen. One of my friends Sarah summed up what I think best and I will quote her here:
"I don't feel like people should be able to own a military-grade weapon. Its sole purpose is to kill as many people as possible in as little amount of time as possible. It doesn't discriminate between innocent children and menacing adults, in cross-fire or directly. I understand that a gun doesn't discharge on its own. I'm not ignorant. There must be a finger on the trigger. But sometimes, the finger on the trigger is not the law-abiding citizen's who passed that background check and bought it at Wal-Mart. Sometimes it is the extremely mentally ill child's finger on the trigger who just killed his law-abiding mother. Or maybe it's the burglar that robbed your house and hit the jackpot when he saw your AR-15. So, good intentions aside, you just armed a criminal.
I don't have the answers. These horrible situations have been going through my head since the shooting in Tuscon. They come up louder and stronger with every innocent life taken. Something has to change and I don't believe that the answer is or will ever be to arm our teachers.
The idea of bringing in veterans to be guards at the schools has been floating around. That's a noble idea, but there are still a lot of factors that would have to be addressed: PTSD, TBI, honorable/dishonorable discharge and the circumstances for both, background checks, and pretty rigorous mental screening. There are more things that would have to be looked at, and I'll get back to you, but it's early.
As for gun shows, there have to be background checks at every single one. The fact that people can walk in to a gun show and walk out with a gun, law-abiding citizen or felon, is not okay. I have no problem with a law-abiding citizen having a gun. By all means, carry on.
Gun safes have to be in any home with a gun. Even gun-educated children get antsy and accidents happen. Lock them up.
Our second amendment calls for a well-regulated militia. I don't want your guns. And no one is going to come take your guns. If you bought a gun when it was legal to do so, you own that gun. It is yours. No one can take it. These new laws being proposed would make the process longer to buy one. I can find no flaw in that. Again, no one is coming to take our guns. Please repeat that over and over in your head. It is true. They cannot take what we legally purchased. They have no intentions of even trying. Why would they? We're armed."
To that I will add that not even the military is exempt from "going crazy" and shooting people. Take the Fort Hood incident where an army psychiatrist, one who is supposed to help people with their mental issues, is an actual M.D. (unlike a psychologist who has a Ph.D., people tend to get them confused and there is a huge difference), went bat-shit crazy and shot up an army post.
The only thing we can learn from this is to watch for warning signs. As a psychology student this is all repeated to us over and over and over. What is it about mental health? Why do so many people not seek the help they need? Why are mental issues overlooked so often? What can we do to change this? As an aspiring psychologist who's ultimate dream is to earn my Ph.D. in school psychology (big dreams right there!) I hope to work towards finding answers and solutions to these burning questions. As a parent, it is up to us to guide our children and to get them the help they need before its too late. Don't ignore the warning signs! It could save your child's life!
With this comes all this talk about gun control. I really don't have that big of an opinion on it, but I do think that assault rifles should be banned from being sold to the general public. They should only be available to those in the military, police force, and secret service...people of that nature. We can't control guns. It's our right to bear arms and I truly feel that that is important as a citizen. One of my friends Sarah summed up what I think best and I will quote her here:
"I don't feel like people should be able to own a military-grade weapon. Its sole purpose is to kill as many people as possible in as little amount of time as possible. It doesn't discriminate between innocent children and menacing adults, in cross-fire or directly. I understand that a gun doesn't discharge on its own. I'm not ignorant. There must be a finger on the trigger. But sometimes, the finger on the trigger is not the law-abiding citizen's who passed that background check and bought it at Wal-Mart. Sometimes it is the extremely mentally ill child's finger on the trigger who just killed his law-abiding mother. Or maybe it's the burglar that robbed your house and hit the jackpot when he saw your AR-15. So, good intentions aside, you just armed a criminal.
I don't have the answers. These horrible situations have been going through my head since the shooting in Tuscon. They come up louder and stronger with every innocent life taken. Something has to change and I don't believe that the answer is or will ever be to arm our teachers.
The idea of bringing in veterans to be guards at the schools has been floating around. That's a noble idea, but there are still a lot of factors that would have to be addressed: PTSD, TBI, honorable/dishonorable discharge and the circumstances for both, background checks, and pretty rigorous mental screening. There are more things that would have to be looked at, and I'll get back to you, but it's early.
As for gun shows, there have to be background checks at every single one. The fact that people can walk in to a gun show and walk out with a gun, law-abiding citizen or felon, is not okay. I have no problem with a law-abiding citizen having a gun. By all means, carry on.
Gun safes have to be in any home with a gun. Even gun-educated children get antsy and accidents happen. Lock them up.
Our second amendment calls for a well-regulated militia. I don't want your guns. And no one is going to come take your guns. If you bought a gun when it was legal to do so, you own that gun. It is yours. No one can take it. These new laws being proposed would make the process longer to buy one. I can find no flaw in that. Again, no one is coming to take our guns. Please repeat that over and over in your head. It is true. They cannot take what we legally purchased. They have no intentions of even trying. Why would they? We're armed."
To that I will add that not even the military is exempt from "going crazy" and shooting people. Take the Fort Hood incident where an army psychiatrist, one who is supposed to help people with their mental issues, is an actual M.D. (unlike a psychologist who has a Ph.D., people tend to get them confused and there is a huge difference), went bat-shit crazy and shot up an army post.
The only thing we can learn from this is to watch for warning signs. As a psychology student this is all repeated to us over and over and over. What is it about mental health? Why do so many people not seek the help they need? Why are mental issues overlooked so often? What can we do to change this? As an aspiring psychologist who's ultimate dream is to earn my Ph.D. in school psychology (big dreams right there!) I hope to work towards finding answers and solutions to these burning questions. As a parent, it is up to us to guide our children and to get them the help they need before its too late. Don't ignore the warning signs! It could save your child's life!
Saturday, December 1, 2012
TEN!
My beautiful baby girl is turning ten tomorrow! I seriously can't believe that. It seems like just yesterday she was a little baby. Tomorrow, December 2nd, I will have a double digit kid! She's not a baby anymore, she's turning into a young lady. A tween! aaagghhh! Makes me nervous thinking about that.
On this particular blog I am taking a trip down memory lane and am reflecting about my pregnancy and birth with Kaylie. I remember the night I found out I was pregnant. I had been with Curt for three years at this point. He had moved to Iowa to be with me and we had our tiny apartment together. I worked at Wal-mart as a customer service manager and he worked at Hardee's. We had never practiced safe sex in three years together. (This was a sign of our fertility problems to come I guess!) I don't know what made me buy a pregnancy test that evening, but I did. I got off of work and wandered over to the pharmacy section and bought a pregancy test. I got home from work and since Curt was closing that night I knew he wouldn't be home until 11pm or so. I decided to call my best friend Liz while I took the test, just for company! When it came back positive I couldn't believe it. I had no idea what we were going to do. We were poor! Curt was still in high school getting ready to graduate in just a few months. I was full of butterflies! I was so nervous. I sat down on our stairs that led up to our living room and didn't move until Curt got home. He walked in and took one look at me and knew something was wrong. I finally told him that I was pregnant. He immediately sat down and said "what??? How did this happen??" (Well....hahahaha).
I suffered from horrible morning sickness. So bad at one point I couldn't even eat. I lost nine pounds in my first trimester. It was awful. At one point I had to be hospitalized and given IV fluids and shot of medicine up my rear since I couldn't take anything oral and keep it down. It was hell. Ugh, I get flashbacks just thinking about that...and I shudder in horror! We decided we would let Kaylie be a surprise at birth, so that was exciting. I held true to that too for the whole nine months! :)
I knew that she was a girl immediately though. Just like with Brandon. I just knew. Even bought the boy stuff at 4 weeks pregnant! lol
Anyway...
Soon after he decided to join the army. I came home from work one afternoon and there was a recruiter in our apartment. I was nervous about that, but that summer he left for basic training. I was just about 3 1/2 months pregnant when he left for Fort Knox, KY. I was so sad and cried every night. It was tough being alone and pregnant while my boyfriend was off learning how to be a soldier. I wrote him a letter every single day for four month while he was gone. We decided we would get married while he was in basic. His training was called OSUT (One Station Unit Training) so his basic portion and AIT (advanced individual training) were all combined. He thought it would be best if we got married before he finished training so I would be guaranteed to go with him to his first duty station. So me and my stepdad drove to Fort Knox the weekend of September 13th and we got married. I was six months pregnant with Kaylie!
He was done with training on Halloween and got back home a few days later. I was eight months pregnant now and feeling it. He was home for a few weeks for hometown recruiting then he left right after my birthday for Fort Benning, GA. The plan was for me to fly down after he got us a house. I was due with Kaylie on December 27th. The doctor cleared me to fly so I bought my ticket for December 5th.
Well...apparently Kaylie had other plans and I woke up the night of December 1st (ten years ago tonight) feeling like I had to poop. All night I would get up having those feelings, but nothing ever came of it. That day (it was a Monday) I decided to clean the house and get ready for the movers who were scheduled to come on the 3rd. I vacuumed, cleaned, and scrubbed all day. And all day I was having braxton hicks (or so I thought). Around 4 that evening I decided it was time to head over to my moms to do laundry and wash the baby clothes I had. By the time I got to her house and started laundry my pains were getting worse.
I finally called my mom at work and told her I was having pains all day and they were getting worse. She said "honey, I think you're in labor." She rushed home and took me up to the hospital. The nurse asked when I was due and I said the 27th. They took me back to check me and told me I was 4 cm. I immediately burst into tears. Curt was going to miss the birth! This couldn't happen!!! I was devastated. We tried and tried to get ahold of him down in GA to no avail. Finally Mario, my step-dad, got a hold of him to tell him I was giving birth.
I didn't get an epidural until late. I was 8 cm when I got it. I was finally 10 cm and started pushing for awhile. Nothing was happening and they finally had to get another doctor in the room and they had to use forceps to help get her out. In the room with me were my mom, stepdad, my aunt, and my grandma. My grandma was hilarious. She gave birth to nine kids and to see it from that different vantage point for her was amazing! She just kept saying "oh dacia, oh dacia", and clapping her hands together. My aunt videotaped it as well.
As soon as that doctor cam in with the forceps Mario said, "you are NOT sticking those in my baby girl" hahaha. A few contractions later Kaylie Jeanne was born at 9:26 P.M. weighing 6lbs 1oz.
I was 36 weeks and 6 days pregnant. Curt finally called and I got to tell him we had a baby girl!!
It was nice too, because I was the ONLY one in L&D for my two day stay. I got the royal treatment from the nurses since they were bored a lot.
Curt flew up the next day on emergency leave and was there for the movers while I stayed at my moms with Kaylie. Then he went back to GA to finish getting things ready for us to move down there. He came and got us at Christmas and we drove down to GA right after the New Year. It sucked too, because he left for Kuwait for the build-up to the invasion just two weeks after we arrived. I was left in GA with a newborn and in a strange city. I was miserable and scared. I was so far out of my comfort zone.
I ended up driving back up to Illinois the next week. Which turned out to be a blessing, because I had emergency gallbladder surgery at the end of January!
Anyway, my Kaylie-booger has grown up so much in ten years. She will always be my baby girl no matter how old she is!! She is growing into such a young lady and I see myself so much in her. She is awkward, quiet, shy, and timid, just like I was at her age. She loves to read, loves to help out around the house (if only I could get her to keep her room clean) and is so smart! I can't wait to see what her life is like in ten more years!! I love you Kaylie Jeanne and Happy Birthday!!!!
P.S. I still have my plane ticket for my flight. It's in her baby book. :)
On this particular blog I am taking a trip down memory lane and am reflecting about my pregnancy and birth with Kaylie. I remember the night I found out I was pregnant. I had been with Curt for three years at this point. He had moved to Iowa to be with me and we had our tiny apartment together. I worked at Wal-mart as a customer service manager and he worked at Hardee's. We had never practiced safe sex in three years together. (This was a sign of our fertility problems to come I guess!) I don't know what made me buy a pregnancy test that evening, but I did. I got off of work and wandered over to the pharmacy section and bought a pregancy test. I got home from work and since Curt was closing that night I knew he wouldn't be home until 11pm or so. I decided to call my best friend Liz while I took the test, just for company! When it came back positive I couldn't believe it. I had no idea what we were going to do. We were poor! Curt was still in high school getting ready to graduate in just a few months. I was full of butterflies! I was so nervous. I sat down on our stairs that led up to our living room and didn't move until Curt got home. He walked in and took one look at me and knew something was wrong. I finally told him that I was pregnant. He immediately sat down and said "what??? How did this happen??" (Well....hahahaha).
I suffered from horrible morning sickness. So bad at one point I couldn't even eat. I lost nine pounds in my first trimester. It was awful. At one point I had to be hospitalized and given IV fluids and shot of medicine up my rear since I couldn't take anything oral and keep it down. It was hell. Ugh, I get flashbacks just thinking about that...and I shudder in horror! We decided we would let Kaylie be a surprise at birth, so that was exciting. I held true to that too for the whole nine months! :)
I knew that she was a girl immediately though. Just like with Brandon. I just knew. Even bought the boy stuff at 4 weeks pregnant! lol
Anyway...
Soon after he decided to join the army. I came home from work one afternoon and there was a recruiter in our apartment. I was nervous about that, but that summer he left for basic training. I was just about 3 1/2 months pregnant when he left for Fort Knox, KY. I was so sad and cried every night. It was tough being alone and pregnant while my boyfriend was off learning how to be a soldier. I wrote him a letter every single day for four month while he was gone. We decided we would get married while he was in basic. His training was called OSUT (One Station Unit Training) so his basic portion and AIT (advanced individual training) were all combined. He thought it would be best if we got married before he finished training so I would be guaranteed to go with him to his first duty station. So me and my stepdad drove to Fort Knox the weekend of September 13th and we got married. I was six months pregnant with Kaylie!
He was done with training on Halloween and got back home a few days later. I was eight months pregnant now and feeling it. He was home for a few weeks for hometown recruiting then he left right after my birthday for Fort Benning, GA. The plan was for me to fly down after he got us a house. I was due with Kaylie on December 27th. The doctor cleared me to fly so I bought my ticket for December 5th.
Well...apparently Kaylie had other plans and I woke up the night of December 1st (ten years ago tonight) feeling like I had to poop. All night I would get up having those feelings, but nothing ever came of it. That day (it was a Monday) I decided to clean the house and get ready for the movers who were scheduled to come on the 3rd. I vacuumed, cleaned, and scrubbed all day. And all day I was having braxton hicks (or so I thought). Around 4 that evening I decided it was time to head over to my moms to do laundry and wash the baby clothes I had. By the time I got to her house and started laundry my pains were getting worse.
I finally called my mom at work and told her I was having pains all day and they were getting worse. She said "honey, I think you're in labor." She rushed home and took me up to the hospital. The nurse asked when I was due and I said the 27th. They took me back to check me and told me I was 4 cm. I immediately burst into tears. Curt was going to miss the birth! This couldn't happen!!! I was devastated. We tried and tried to get ahold of him down in GA to no avail. Finally Mario, my step-dad, got a hold of him to tell him I was giving birth.
I didn't get an epidural until late. I was 8 cm when I got it. I was finally 10 cm and started pushing for awhile. Nothing was happening and they finally had to get another doctor in the room and they had to use forceps to help get her out. In the room with me were my mom, stepdad, my aunt, and my grandma. My grandma was hilarious. She gave birth to nine kids and to see it from that different vantage point for her was amazing! She just kept saying "oh dacia, oh dacia", and clapping her hands together. My aunt videotaped it as well.
As soon as that doctor cam in with the forceps Mario said, "you are NOT sticking those in my baby girl" hahaha. A few contractions later Kaylie Jeanne was born at 9:26 P.M. weighing 6lbs 1oz.
I was 36 weeks and 6 days pregnant. Curt finally called and I got to tell him we had a baby girl!!
It was nice too, because I was the ONLY one in L&D for my two day stay. I got the royal treatment from the nurses since they were bored a lot.
Curt flew up the next day on emergency leave and was there for the movers while I stayed at my moms with Kaylie. Then he went back to GA to finish getting things ready for us to move down there. He came and got us at Christmas and we drove down to GA right after the New Year. It sucked too, because he left for Kuwait for the build-up to the invasion just two weeks after we arrived. I was left in GA with a newborn and in a strange city. I was miserable and scared. I was so far out of my comfort zone.
I ended up driving back up to Illinois the next week. Which turned out to be a blessing, because I had emergency gallbladder surgery at the end of January!
Anyway, my Kaylie-booger has grown up so much in ten years. She will always be my baby girl no matter how old she is!! She is growing into such a young lady and I see myself so much in her. She is awkward, quiet, shy, and timid, just like I was at her age. She loves to read, loves to help out around the house (if only I could get her to keep her room clean) and is so smart! I can't wait to see what her life is like in ten more years!! I love you Kaylie Jeanne and Happy Birthday!!!!
P.S. I still have my plane ticket for my flight. It's in her baby book. :)
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