For real. Honestly. Completely. Tired of it.
Family that is. I always say I am done asking family to come visit, then my stupid self tries again just to get denied. I am soooo tired of it!!! I honestly am DONE asking.
I asked my mom and stepdad to come down and visit for Easter, even told them we would pay for the plane tickets. Nope....
My mom says but what about when you move into your house. I tried to explain to her that we might not get the house now and we might be moving somewhere else. We don't know yet. We're exploring options. It's a huge possibility that we will end up back in GA, yes, but not officially yet. And that just pisses me off because they don't care about seeing us, they just want to see the house!! Ugh...
I just booked our trip to Colorado in May for the Warrior Games today. I asked my mom if she would consider coming with me to help out with the kids. (Really not looking forward to flying by myself with two children). Nope...
I am beyond irritated. We went home for the first time in two years last summer. I won't do it again. I'm tired of always being the one who has to come to them. Screw it. I cannot rely or count on my family..AT ALL.
My sister would in a heartbeat, but we all know how hard it is for her to get away from her craziness. Its next to impossible. She has six kids to take care of. She can't just get away; whereas my mother, who has no one at home to take care of, won't. Even if I offer to pay. So sad. And so ridiculous.
I am so tired of it.
A good majority of the time I feel like I have no one I can rely on when I need it the most. I sat and cried today, because I am so stressed out. We are moving in a few months, have no idea WHERE, have no idea about anything that is going on, besides just waiting on an approval for COAD. Its beyond frustrating and certainly beyond stressful.
I am full of anxiety and stress. No one gets it. No one understands how hard it is for me. And how sometimes I just break. I keep all the stress in and bottle it up and then when I can't take it anymore it all falls apart. I wish I could make it just all go away. I wish I had family who understood my emotional needs.
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I totally get this.. We are goin to HI and instead of hearing from my parents that they will do anything possible to see us they say "oh I cant believe we wont see you for 3 years".. I thought id be able to come home but really it will be way to expensive. It will cost about 3 grand for us just in tickets.. So it probably wont happen. THat makes me sad. Karsyn will be 4 before they see her again? Seriously.. I know my parents would never get on a plane though.. My mom told me it was her dream to see HI so we are gonna do everything possible to get her there. Kevins parents are the only ones from his family that ever comes to see us.. but i know people will want to come to HI and stay in our house for free!!
ReplyDeletei don't blame you at all! i can't believe how well you are handling all of this! you are crazy strong, Dacia! and it is sad that your family isn't more supportive! that's not fair, and you deserve better than that!
ReplyDeletekeep telling yourself that "this too shall pass"... when i am wayyyyy down, that's what i repeat to myself! and no matter where you guys do end up, you will be together and in the end, that's what matters! thinking of you and praying for you!
The only ONE you can truly count on is God. Period. Everyone else who you think is supposed to love and care about you (family, friends, PARENTS <--what a concept?!), will fail and disappoint.
ReplyDeleteGod filled a void in my life with other people to take the place of family members that are WAY dysfunctional.