Huge Step!!...and other thoughts of mine

So today was Curt's VA physical for his med board. Finally!!!! You have no idea how long we have waited for this day. He was injured 3 years and 2 months ago. What a relief it was to know this day had finally arrived. His appointment was at 830 this morning, so of course, being here in DC he had to leave at 630 for the 15 mile drive to make sure he got there in time. Annddd he got there a little after 8! haha Gotta love DC :)

He said it was a very thorough exam. He was quite impressed by how much in detail they went through everything. He didn't get home until a little after two this afternoon so it was a good five hour appointment! Now we just wait!! Tomorrow he has the DTAP briefing and he sees his PCM who is writing up his NARSUM. After that we wait for the med boards decision. Up to 35 days. It is exciting to know we will know our future in a months time. It is a huge step we have been waiting months for. To move on, past this. Sigh..it will be like a huge weight off of our shoulders. So exciting!!!
I will of course keep you updated on this process and journey as it continues. :)

Anyway! I've been doing some heavy thinking the past couple of days. Mostly about my past. On facebook I ran across one of my ex's. Actually my first love. I have always wondered about him and what he had done with his life. Where he was, etc. So it was shocking to see him pop up one day. I dated him my whole sophomore year of high school and beginning of my junior year. He was the first guy I ever loved. I also lost my virginity to him. Anyway, he was a bad boy, a gang banger, and also smoked weed. We used to always hang out at Anna's house and a couple times I saved his butt when he got in a car accident in my car and also when he used my car to burglarize someones house. I defied my mom over him, I got in trouble all the time over him, lost friends over him... I even got jumped because of him. Sigh...so anyway he came up on facebook and I clicked on his profile to see what the hell he ever did with himself. mmm..not much. It looks like he lives in a trailer, has five kids, just looks GROSS.

It made me think of how different my life would have been if I didn't get out of that ghetto stage. If I had stayed with him and never moved away from Zion. OMG.
It made me grateful for being smart enough to 180 myself. To get out of "Zompton" to choose Curt as my husband, to have Curt as my soul mate, to have my true love. It made me see how GOOD my life is. How much we HAVE. We have a lot. More than a lot of people do. It made me grateful I have been given the opportunities I have and am pursuing my degrees and plan on making something of MYSELF.

When I sit back and think of "what could of been" I am eternally gratefully that its not!! I can't believe I was like that. I can't believe I was a bad girl. I can't believe I have been arrested and fingerprinted and a mug shot taken of me all for nothing. I can't believe I was THAT girl. It is definitely not something I am proud of and I don't know if I would take it back, because the experiences I had with not only him but that whole projects crowd shaped me and made me know the dirty life. By dirty I mean drugs, guns, whores, alcohol, burglaries, jail, brawls. The life of the ghetto. I lived that. I have been through it. I have witnessed drive bys, people being stabbed and have been around drugs since I was 14. Even after I was jumped I, myself started carrying a blade around. For protection. I needed it. Like I said I am not proud of those years of my life. But I am thankful to not be so ignorant to the projects and what that life is like. And I see him now and see he still lives that life, still probably a drug dealer, still a gang banger, who knows. Frankly it makes me sad to see it.

I am thankful I grew out of that. Thankful I turned my life around. Thankful I did not become some white trash wigger girl. I am thankful that I got out of that environment, made great friends, met a fabulous soul mate and got my life on a better track. When I think of how my life could have turned out..it disgusts me.

So that's my insight of the day. A little piece of my twisted life.

I don't like to talk about those years of my life in high school. It was an absolutely crazy part of my life. I'm glad I am with Curt, I am glad I have two amazing children who I hope never see that kind of life or witness any of the things I have witnessed or hang out with that type of crowd. I guess...yeah, I do consider myself to be a snob now. I'm better than that old Dacia. Frankly, I like the new Dacia... Thank GOD!! :)