Learning about letting go

So Curt was finally able to get his reenlistment done. yay!! His records are still not updated yet to reflect that so we still are not able to get new ID cards, but we should be able to in the next few days. Our ID's expire in 10 days so its pretty crucial to get it done ASAP. Now we are just waiting on orders. I don't know when that is gonna happen and frankly I'm tired of worrying about this all.
I was on another website for wounded warrior wives and read about the latest retreat they have for the wives. I wish I would have known about it because I would have signed up to attend. I think it would do me a world of good. Anyway, I was reading about what they did there and how its important to focus on ME and not consume myself with Curt and his life. They made them stand inside this circle and tell themselves that the most important person to take care of is their own self. We have to learn to accept a lot of things that will happen are beyond our control. We have to accept what has happened to our husbands and adjust to the changes in our lives. We can't take care of others if we, ourselves, are not taken care of. Our first priority should always be ourselves and our own wellbeing.
I think that was a huge hit home for me. I have been worrying about what is going on with Curt and I have been staying so on top of everything and bugging him to check this and that and call this person and that. It's exhausting!

It's tiresome! I've come to a point now where I am just going to let him worry about it all. It's not my problem! I have my own life to focus on, my own goals I want to accomplish and I don't need the added stress of making his problems my problems. So I made a vow last week to stop worrying about what is happening. I will let things happen as they happen. I've been doing pretty good with it too. His life is his life, and my life is my life.

We also have been thinking about Hawaii. As much as we would love to go, we don't know if it is in our best interest as a family. Both of our careers would be put on hold. Mine as well, since I am going for my master's as soon as I can. Hawaii wouldn't allow that since we would not be there long enough for me to complete it. Curt's best career move is back to Benning. So we have that on the back of our minds as well. Its been on my mind for awhile though. I have this inkling that Hawaii is not the best option... I guess we will find out what is happening when we hear back from branch. If Hawaii falls through I am perfectly okay with it. It doesn't matter to me either way. I will be disappointed a bit, and sad about a missed opportunity don't get me wrong. I mean I have been bugging Curt about going there for years, but in the end, we will have to find out if it is worth it or not. At this point, I will make the best of whatever happens. Either way I think Benning/Hawaii has its pros and cons ... Again, out of my control, so... :)

On another note. I have been quite proud of myself lately. I have been running!! Yes, running.. every night. It feels so good. It gives me time to think and clear my head of all this stuff going on and I LOVE it. :)