Bored!

It's funny how some things come with age. When I was in junior high and high school I loved to write. I would write all the time. I have always been complimented on my writing skills, in high school and even now in college. I get bored writing though. At times I see no point in writing down my thoughts and feelings anymore because it gets boring writing. My thoughts go more quickly than my fingers! I have gotten A's on every single paper I have written for college. When I am passionate about a topic I could write about it all day. I struggle writing about topics I have no interest in though. Like this coming week I have a ten page paper for my research methods class. B-O-R-I-N-G!! I don't wanna do it! My other paper I have to write this week is about the life and contributions to psychology of a not-so-well-known psychologist. I have chosen to write about Alfred Adler. Easy peasy.

My point in writing all this is sometimes I wish, in just every day affairs, I would write my eloquently like I do my papers. My normal writing is always jumbled and full of different thoughts. I have always wanted to write a book and still toss it around. I know I have strong writing skills and at one point even thought of majoring in English! (long time ago). I know this runs in the family because my sister is also a great writer and my brother is a fantastic writer who has already written short stories. His professors at college have even asked him if he ever thought of majoring in English. Writing can be freeing, yet at the same time, it can be hard. It takes sorting out thoughts and writing about them in ways that make sense to the reader.

Kaylie is also becoming a little writer. She always has a notebook and is drawing pictures and writing little stories. I love that my whole family shares this in common! I also love that when my sister is writing a speech for Girl Scouts, or my brother is writing a story and wants it critiqued, or I am writing a paper and want an opinion we call each other and are able to help each other omit or rearrange words to make what we are trying to say even better.

It's funny on facebook because I tend to get bored writing and will want to write this big long opinion or something on someone's post but after I do I erase it all and end up writing something extremely short. haha I don't know what it is about social networking that bores me with writing. Writing can also be therapeutic. Almost like Freud's free association. Where I can write whatever it is I'm thinking and not have to have anyone comment back or judge me. Writing is a stress reliever. I have a personal journal I write in that no one ever sees. I used to be big into journaling and would write every single day in it, but over the last few years I have slowly started doing it less in less.

Anywhoo, I was just thinking about this topic over the past few hours because someone posted something on facebook and I wanted to comment, but then got bored and decided not to. Sad in a way. I'm not much of a debater, I hate debating because no one is going to change their mind when they are set in their views. It's like talking to a brick wall and wasting time. So I rarely get involved anymore in that stuff, especially when people are passionate and especially when they are ignorant on a subject and make themselves look stupid with the stuff they post. ;)

Anyway, I wanted to post what I wrote to my niece back in August. My niece is just now 18 and is off enjoying her first year at college. After being there for only two days she was wanting to run home and drop out. Of course, that angered all of us, her family, because we know how smart and capable she is and how much she wanted this. I will end this blog with my speech to her. It's just a small taste of my awesome writing. ;) 

To my niece:

College is one of the first stepping stones into adulthood. To leave home and be out of your comfort zone is scary and different for everyone who goes through it. It is an adjustment period. It will take some time, but by Christmas you will start to feel, or already feel, comfortable. Starting out in a new place is always hard. We have to make new friends, find our way around town, and try and find our niche in the place we are (for me this relates to military life and how hard it is to move and start all over every 3 years or so). It is exciting, yet terrifying all at the same time. My first time moving away from home I went 16 hours away to Georgia with a 3 week old infant and Curt deployed two weeks after. I was left all alone in a strange state with a baby. I cried every day and just wanted to go home. I pushed through it though and decided I was going to beat these feeling of defeat. Because of that choice I am very independent and I never rely on a man, or anyone, to do anything in my life. As I wish for the same for you. Don’t EVER make a decision based on a man. He’s not guaranteed to be there next year, or even next month, or really even tomorrow. Boys come and go, friends come and go, but your LIFE is YOUR life. Always do YOU first.

My point is this. It’s hard. No one said it wasn’t going to be a struggle. You have to do this though. You made a choice, you decided you wanted to go to Dubuque, you decided you wanted to be a nurse. Now do it!! You are wanting to give up way to easy and way too quickly. No, you don’t have to prove everyone wrong about you, you don’t have to give a crap what any of us say to you, but I know deep down inside of yourself you know that leaving is a bad choice. You know it’s not what you want. You didn’t work this hard in your life and overcome all that you have to give up after two days at college. Really, Alysia. I know you expect more from yourself than this, just like we all do. We all love you and we all want you to be successful. People always get mad and upset and don’t want to hear the truth. Sometimes though I think we need to hear the truth. It’s what breaks us down and pisses us off and builds us back up to be a better person in the end. No one is responsible for this but you. It’s time to really put on some big girl panties and fight back against these feelings of doubt. Why in the hell are you going to just throw all this hard work away before you have even really began??? I know you are fighter. I know you want this. I know you want better than your parents have. I know you want to give yourself a good life with a fabulous career. Going back to Zion, and going to CLC, will not accomplish that. You know that. It will end with you being disappointed in yourself and kicking yourself in the ass for giving up so easily!! To be anything in life you have to fight for it. It’s not easy. It’s hard. But the rewards of walking across that stage in four years with a Bachelor’s degree in nursing will make it all worth it.

Now I am going to say some things you probably won’t like, but again, this goes back to hearing the truth that I talked about. Let it piss you off then build you back up! There comes a time in life when we have to learn to take responsibility for our own actions and stop pointing fingers and blaming everyone around us but ourselves. We all have done it, we all still do it sometimes when we don’t want to take ownership for our own bad choices. Why are you stressed about money? You had a graduation party and got a lot of money. You didn’t work all summer so therefore did not have an income. That is nobody’s fault but your own. You chose not to work, so therefore, again, your lack of money is your fault. Now you are at college and have a meal plan so that you can eat. Also, every college kid is hungry. They all live on ramen noodles and PB&J’s. Ask any kid who went or is going to college. It’s like the national college meal plan. At times you are very mature, but also at times you are immature. I get it. You are only 18. I hope a year from now, four years from now, and even ten years from now you can look back at this and say to yourself “I can’t believe how dumb I was.” Because, let’s face it, the truth of the matter is… it’s dumb and irrational to want to drop out of college. Take what I have said and do what you want with it. I don’t care what you do with it. Hate me, ignore me, delete this, whatever. I will at least know I said my piece to you. But one thing is for sure…. I do expect my niece to try her damnedest... to at least freaking TRY. I love you.

Sincerely,

“Your sometimes everyone needs tough love” aunt Dacia!